Is Complete Non-Judgement Possible?
This article is based on conversation with Dr Kishor Adhikari
What is non-judgemental attitude?
Non-judgemental attitude is neutral towards any experience where you don’t evaluate the experience based on the merit of good or bad or right or wrong. You just become aware of experience. The experience itself may be negative or of positive nature. If you are non-judgemental to it, it won’t exacerbate the situation. The experience remains the same and studies have shown that such experience slowly tapers down and ceases. But can we be completely jon-judgemental to every aspect of life? Before we begin, we need to understand that the degree of non-judgemental attitude must be viewed in a spectrum. As a household common person, your goal is to navigate through the ups and downs of life. This is what I identify myself as. For me, I try to be non-judgemental of my experiences (mostly feelings), not necessarily to every aspect of life. I do make decisions, fire employees if they don’t align with my goals, and give feedback to people. While doing so, I try to be non-judgemental to my feelings which makes me calm and composed while I make such difficult decisions. Perhaps this is because I practice non-judgemental attitude through mindfulness oriented meditations. This is what I would suggest you try out. In fact, your practice of non-judgemental attitude to your feelings transpires and perpetuates to relevant aspects of life. This is one end of the spectrum. On the other end of the spectrum, if your goal is to renounce this world and look for “nirvan” , a state of enlightenment, you can achieve the complete non-judgemental attitude over practice because here you don’t have much worldly decision to make. You would have renounced already.
Is Complete Non-judgemental Attitude Possible?
Life is full of experiences—some joyful, some painful, and many somewhere in between. How we respond to these experiences often determines whether they leave us feeling at peace or stressed. One powerful way to navigate life’s ups and downs is by cultivating a non-judgmental attitude.
A non-judgmental attitude means observing your experiences—thoughts, feelings, and situations—without labeling them as good or bad, right or wrong. It’s about being aware of what’s happening without letting your mind add extra layers of judgment. For example, if you feel angry, instead of reacting, you simply notice the anger without criticizing yourself. Studies show that when we stop judging our experiences, they tend to lose their intensity. Negative feelings, when observed without judgment, slowly fade away. This approach helps us stay calm and composed, even in challenging situations.
Can we be completely non-judgemental? The short answer is: it depends on your goals. Being non-judgmental isn’t an all-or-nothing concept. It exists on a spectrum, and where you fall on that spectrum depends on your lifestyle and aspirations.
Most of us are not monks or spiritual seekers aiming for enlightenment. We are ordinary people with jobs, families, and responsibilities. In this context, being completely non-judgmental about every aspect of life isn’t practical—or even necessary. For example, you might need to make tough decisions at work, like firing an employee who isn’t performing well. In such cases, you can’t avoid judging the situation to some extent.
However, you can still practice being non-judgmental toward your feelings. For instance, while making a difficult decision, you might feel guilt or anxiety. Instead of getting caught up in those emotions, you can observe them without judgment. This helps you stay calm and focused, allowing you to act with clarity and compassion.
On the other end of the spectrum are those who aim for a state of enlightenment or “nirvana.” For them, the goal is to renounce worldly attachments and achieve complete non-judgment. This is a much higher level of practice, where one lets go of all desires and judgments. But this path requires letting go of many everyday responsibilities and decisions, which isn’t feasible for most people.
How to Practice non-judgemental attitude?
If you’re like most people, your goal is likely to live a balanced life—handling challenges with grace while staying emotionally grounded. Here’s how you can practice a non-judgmental attitude in a practical way:
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. You can start with simple mindfulness exercises, like focusing on your breath or observing your thoughts during meditation. Over time, this helps you become more aware of your feelings without getting swept away by them. When you feel a strong emotion—whether it’s anger, sadness, or frustration—pause and observe it. Instead of thinking, “This is bad,” or “I shouldn’t feel this way,” simply notice the emotion. Acknowledge it without judgment. This small shift can help you respond to situations more calmly. As you get better at being non-judgmental toward your feelings, you’ll notice that this attitude starts to influence other areas of your life. For example, you might become less critical of others or more accepting of situations you can’t control.
Practicing a non-judgmental attitude doesn’t mean you’ll never judge again. It’s a skill that takes time to develop. Be kind to yourself when you slip up, and remember that progress is more important than perfection.
Why It Matters
A non-judgmental attitude isn’t about ignoring reality or avoiding decisions. It’s about creating a mental space where you can observe life’s experiences without being overwhelmed by them. This approach helps you:
Stay calm under pressure.
Make better decisions.
Improve your relationships by reducing unnecessary criticism.
Find peace in the midst of life’s chaos.
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