The Subtle Art of Wanting More, Without Putting Others Down

By Punjita Pradhan

A hardworking individual is like a lone flame in a dimly lit room. Imagine a Nepal government department where mediocrity is the norm. Employees do just enough, take long breaks, leave the office early and are opposed to change. In comes a new officer who is bent on improving efficiency. He digitizes records, stays late to improve reports, and proposes new ideas, only to be met with indifference or hostility.

His dedication isolates him, rather than questioning change, and he is forced to make the difficult choice between compliance and continuance. He may be labeled 'perfectionist', 'mental about work', 'workaholic', 'unstable' and emotionally immature. Most probably, he will become these things if he feels them to be so. Rather than being nurtured or appreciated for his creative solutions, his enthusiasm is met with contention, as it interferes with the comfortable, low-effort existence to which most of his co-workers have been accustomed to.

It will undermine his self-esteem little by little. His need to be able to contribute something of value becomes frustrating, and his initial clear vision of improvement is clouded by doubts about himself. The pressure of conformity becomes too great, and he is forced to question if his pursuit of excellence is worth the emotional cost of loneliness and misunderstanding.

Despite the solitude, the young man's resilience can lead to a spark for change, albeit slowly and painfully.

The path is one of personal transformation, where he must find balance, learning to take care of himself in the midst of an environment that might never be capable of appreciating his work. Lastly, his struggle is a reminder that genuine progress often requires both inner aptitude and the courage to challenge deeply rooted norms.

Mediocrity in a Psychological Context

Mediocrity is defined as “the state or quality of being average or not very good.” In psychological terms, it’s not just about lacking ability, but about a deeper set of cognitive and emotional patterns that shape how people approach life and work. Mediocrity can be rooted in factors like:

- A preference for comfort over challenge

- A fixed mindset that resists growth

- A lack of intrinsic motivation

- Fear of failure and rejection

- Social conformity

- Need for external validation

These factors contribute to an environment where individuals accept average performance, avoid challenges, and miss out on communication. These experiences may cause unfulfillment, feeling unaccomplished and lack of direction or goals.

The absence of intrinsic motivation and reliance on external validation can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of purpose.

Fear of failure and rejection can reinforce a cycle of avoidance, limiting personal growth and potential.

Social conformity, often at the expense of authenticity, can increase emotional distress and prevent individuals from pursuing their true desires.

While mediocrity can provide temporary comfort, it can also prevent individuals from achieving their full potential and lead to dissatisfaction. In fact, a fixed mindset, one that sees abilities as static, can limit growth and cause people to view struggles as evidence of inadequacy rather than opportunities for development. This reinforces a state of mediocrity and keeps people trapped in unfulfilling patterns.

Psychological Theories on Mediocrity

Several psychological theories help explain why mediocrity persists:

Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) suggests that individuals thrive when they experience autonomy, competence, and connection. However, environments focused on extrinsic rewards rather than intrinsic growth can breed complacency. For example, an employee passionate about innovation may lose motivation if their workplace only rewards routine tasks rather than creativity and skill development.

Mindset Theory (Carol Dweck, 2006) explains that individuals with a fixed mindset avoid challenges, fearing that failure will expose their weaknesses. A growth mindset encourages resilience and improvement. Those with a growth mindset view failure as part of the learning process and are more likely to persist in the face of difficulty.

Social Cognitive Theory (Albert Bandura, 1977) emphasizes self-efficacy, the belief in one’s ability to succeed. Low self-efficacy can cause individuals to avoid challenges, reinforcing mediocrity. For instance, someone with low self-efficacy might procrastinate because they fear failure, even though avoiding the task only has a compounding effect on the problem.

Learned Helplessness Theory (Martin Seligman, 1975) describes how repeated failures can lead individuals to feel that success is beyond their control. This belief can promote passivity and stagnation, as people retreat into their comfort zones and avoid taking risks.

Social Conformity Theory (Solomon Asch, 1951) shows how individuals often adjust their behaviors and beliefs to fit in with the group, even when doing so conflicts with their personal growth. In many cultures, excelling can be met with skepticism or exclusion, discouraging individuals from striving for more.

The Impact of Mediocrity

Mediocrity, if prevalent in society, can slow down progress. In politics, it normally results in bad leadership and inadequate solutions to long-standing problems.

In schools, it creates a low-standard culture, which stifles critical thinking and creativity. In the workplace, mediocrity produces substandard products and services, leading to customer dissatisfaction and poor economic performance.

Societal complacency can also suppress civic engagement and responsibility, weakening democracy.

• Mediocrity can make individuals retreat from personal development efforts, leading to stagnation and a lack of fulfillment. This avoidance of self-improvement fosters a sense of dissatisfaction and self-doubt, making it harder to cultivate confidence and a strong sense of purpose.

• The lack of motivation to engage in learning new skills or setting meaningful goals can limit personal growth, reducing opportunities for self-discovery and progress in various aspects of life.

• When someone lacks ambition, it creates a gap between them and individuals who strive for self-improvement, making it harder to stay inspired or benefit from the influence of growth-oriented peers.

• Mediocrity hampers the ability to push through challenges and develop resilience, leading to a tendency to give up easily rather than learning from failures and using them as stepping stones for success.

• This attitude of complacency can diminish self-respect and confidence over time, preventing individuals from embracing change, seeking out mentors, or investing in their own potential for growth and transformation.

Hindu and Buddhist Philosophy on overcoming mediocrity

Hindu philosophy, through the lens of the Bhagavad Gita, emphasizes the importance of performing one's duties with dedication and without attachment to the outcomes.

The concept of Nishkama Karma (action without desire for reward) can be seen as a way to counter mediocrity. In the context of a workplace, this philosophy encourages individuals to focus on the intrinsic value of their work, striving for excellence without being bogged down by external validation or recognition.

When applied to a situation where mediocrity prevails, this teaching may help individuals remain steadfast in their pursuit of personal growth and innovation, despite the lack of external motivation or support. Hindu philosophy suggests that true fulfillment comes from selfless action and detachment from the fruits of one's labor, which could provide a sense of inner peace and resilience when faced with a demotivating environment.

Buddhist philosophy, on the other hand, offers a perspective rooted in mindfulness, impermanence, and compassion. The concept of Right Effort from the Noble Eightfold Path encourages individuals to engage in work that is aligned with their values, fostering a sense of purpose and direction. It teaches that true progress comes not from striving against resistance, but from cultivating an attitude of acceptance and understanding towards the present moment.

The practice of mindfulness can help individuals develop greater awareness of their motivations and emotional responses, allowing them to break free from the cycle of complacency. Rather than battling against a resistant environment, Buddhism suggests that one can find peace by adjusting one's mindset to focus on the process rather than external outcomes, which might eventually lead to greater satisfaction and growth.

Is Excellence the only way to thrive?

The answer is NO.

The key to overcoming mediocrity is finding a balance. Excellence should be encouraged, but it should not come at the cost of mental health or social well-being. Striving for excellence drives innovation, personal growth, and societal progress. However, an exclusive focus on excellence can lead to stress, competition, and burnout.

Mediocrity arises when we disconnect from our true potential and settle for a life dictated by external expectations rather than internal drive. Instead of exploring our unique abilities and aspirations, we may conform to societal norms, fearing failure or discomfort. This passive approach stunts personal growth, keeping us in a cycle of inaction and self-doubt. True fulfillment, however, comes from aligning our actions with our intrinsic motivations: choosing to learn, evolve, and challenge ourselves rather than remaining stagnant.

To break free from mediocrity, we must actively engage in personal development by acquiring new skills and taking deliberate action. Growth is not about perfection but about continuous learning, resilience, and self-discovery. By setting meaningful goals, embracing challenges, and refining our abilities, we cultivate confidence and authenticity. Living authentically means pursuing what genuinely resonates with us, rather than forcing ourselves to pursue things that seem to be trending in society and social media.

This commitment to self-improvement allows us to lead a life that is both fulfilling and true to our deepest potential.

Collective growth through balance

Mediocrity, however, does provide stability and inclusivity. It can also help individuals focus on relationships, personal satisfaction, and holistic development rather than always chasing the concept of success that is driven by external influences. In this sense, mediocrity serves as a psychological stabilizer, allowing people to find contentment.

Organizations, workplaces, and educational institutions can help cultivate this balance by encouraging growth while also allowing room for mistakes, collaboration, and learning at a natural pace. People thrive in environments where effort is valued as much as outcomes, and where challenges are not overwhelming.

Balancing mediocrity with excellence is essential for fostering a healthy society. Excellence should be pursued in a way that aligns with personal values and capabilities, allowing for growth and innovation without causing stress or burnout.

By setting realistic goals, acknowledging our limits, and prioritizing well-being, we can create a world where people contribute meaningfully, enjoy personal fulfillment, and continue to progress.

(Are you struggling to find motivation, or feeling disconnected from your true potential? Let’s explore how you can break free from these barriers and rediscover a sense of fulfillment. Contact us at 9840260426 or visit www.manobhavana.com.)

References

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer Science & Business Media.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191

Seligman, M. E. P. (1975). Helplessness: On depression, development, and death. W. H. Freeman.

Asch, S. E. (1951). Effects of group pressure upon the modification and distortion of judgments. In H. Guetzkow (Ed.), Groups, leadership and men (pp. 177–190). Carnegie Press.